Where O' where has all my friends been?

Friends come and friends go. Does it all have to be like this? Life is a misery without any friends. I long for one who would ring me from time to time. I remember Jia Ling who would ring me and chat with me throughout the whole time, ignoring the phone bills and all. I love those days, and yet it all always comes to an end. Life seems perfect just at that moment and yet when I was at there I fret about all worldly things and now I still do. Here I worry about one thing, losing my friends. Everyone seems so independent so well sorted, so well planned with everything. I am still lost in my track, finding my own path, which one should I lead? I am sometimes still searching. I am lost. So many thoughts and questions, but so little answer. I should ring my friends from time to time, keeping them close is one thing that is important.

My friends in malaysia has all parted their ways, each going to the college or universities that they desire, and they are just so hard to keep in touch. Sure facebook will do the trick, but soon a whole paragraph of story will be one sentence and one sentence will be a word of reply. As the time tick, we distance ourselves, is it just me or you? Who changes? Did I change or did you change? It is hard to understand. Time gives us no time, it just comes and goes. Simple and yet quite complicated for me to juggle between 'adjusting' to the new life and 'keeping' the old life. How can I do both at the same time?

I want to keep my old friends and meet new friends, but once I do one, I start losing track of the other. This is hard. Life is complicated. Why do I worry? I guess it is all because I am a worrywart.

Happy New Year!

Happy new year to all! 2011, I am ready for you, even though I am not ready, you will just rush into my life without any hesitant. So I am always ready, willingly or unwillingly, I am ready. What can I say, 2010 was great but it has always felt the same like every other years. You look back and you feel accomplished...maybe, not quite. I don't set new year resolution because I know it will never last and I will never remember whatever resolution I set up. I hope I shall start off 2011 with a great start, a great booze will help me, and that booze should be good results. I know that no matter how hard I try to forget my results, it will still stick to me like a magnet, I will always remember it no matter what. It depends how good it is; it will either be a flower that blossom beautifully or a ugly weed. One that will be mock and one that will be praised, I cannot choose. Life has always been tough and hard. But again, happy new year to all, may God bless you.

Alice in 'Wonderland'

Alice a young, beautiful lady, mingled with her friends. Instead of tying her hair up into a bun, Alice had her curly brunette her down, somehow a young man from a far took notice. Not knowing this, Alice as usual had her friends laugh like a maniac around her while she farted loudly. The young man somehow find it so amusing that he laughed out loud too. Alice turned around and found this young man laughing by himself, thinking that he is insane, Alice told her friends about it while they stared at him weirdly and move away from that man. The young man realised the whole group was staring at him and he knew that he made a fool of himself. He picked up his books and head towards the group of girl. One girl screamed 'Get away from us' and everyone started running as if their life was in danger. Alice was running clumsily and she tripped over a rock doubling over and injured herself that she can hardly get up. The young man hurried towards her helping her up. Shocked by his reaction, she examined this young man who seems so handsome up close. His jet black hair and his blue eyes seems to impressed her. 'Why were you guys running from me?' the young man asked as he stared into her blue eyes. Knowing that it was her fault she put on a silly smiled and shrugged. 'My name is *blah* (put your ideal man's name in), let's get you to a doctor', he smiled and carried her in his strong arms. She placed her arms around his neck hugging him. 'Do you take arts?' he asked.

'How do you know?'

'Oh, your hands..'

'What?' she look at her hands, which were covered in paints 'Oh...'

Well, after a few weeks time, Alice started dating him and he seems to impress her parents. Those two seems so close that they are always together. When Alice was 25, she got married to him and they had four lovely kids and they live happily ever after.

'Relationship'

There are two types of friends, one that will tell you everything and one that is so secretive that she wouldn't tell anyone anything. There are some of my friends that is such a chatterbox that would tell you everything except for one thing, 'relationship'. She talk and talk and talk, while you listen attentively, not missing one word, until she blurts out a name that she shouldn't have said but still continue on like a tut tut train trying to cover up her mistake, until you interrupt her 'Who is (name)?'. She shrugs and deny your comment but at the corner of your eye you see her blush and smile and you know you may be right. Maybe, just maybe she is dating or maybe she had a crush or maybe she is embarrass that you tease her with a certain someone. No matter how beg and ask she will always shake her head vigorously and say 'No' in a stern way. But some people are just like a detective they will always ask 'Who is he/she?' and followed with the normal phrase 'Tell me EVERYTHING', they will persuade until that stubborn nut gives up and tell them everything except missing some important points. Yeah, that would be me, but I don't always persuade, I used to not anymore. All I do was smile along and stick to my 1st two maybe's, it is fun and interesting that way but yet annoying not to know. But why bother? Yeah sure it is the lastest gossip in your own 'reality world' but don't you have your life to gossip about?

There are two types of people, one who wants to be in relationship so badly and one that doesn't care at all. Most of my friends are the one who wants to be in relationship so badly, almost everyday I hear the same thing 'I wish I got a boyfriend' or I hear a sigh when I tease them about boyfriends. Until I met someone who said 'I don't care, I can't be bothered to have a boyfriend', how interesting. She jokes and laugh about having a boyfriend and this is how the conversation goes...(I will call her A)

A: I will be sick of valentines and stuff like that. He will be like 'I got you some chocolate! So...what did you get for me?' 'Uh....socks?' and I will give him my socks!

Me: Lol! I bet he will dump you at the spot.

A: Haha! And I would be like 'Aww...why do you to break...uh..I don't care anyway, bye!'

Wow, if a girl dumps a boy like that I would call her the 'heartbreaker'. My friend is a joker, she is not all bad. She does have a heart, I remember the time one of her mates got mad at her she was all sad and worried. I am in between this two people, sometimes I want to be in one, but once I see that you have to text him like every 5 minutes I get put off. Sure being in a relationship is nice, someone who care for you and love you, aww..how sweet but don't you have your own friends who cares? I am not against relationship, I just want to be happy everyday without worrying. But it is hard to be honest, especially for me.

The pride of the sign 'L'

I got this last Wednesday if I wasn't mistaken. The pride of getting 'L' is like getting a badge of honour or getting a gold medal. Most people will think this is silly or stupid but not me. I stride around proudly showing my temporary piece of paper to everyone. The yellow square template with a black sign 'L' was attach to the car wind screen. Getting behind the wheel is lovely, smiling in glee while you rev up the car and step on the acceleration too hard that it jerk forward, leaving your teacher sweaty and their hands are gripped on tightly to the side handle.

This 'L' is not just an L it is the part of your success and a step towards independence. I smile with pride as I drive onto the road, smiling and waving at every bypasser while they give you a look, a look that say 'She is crazy', a look that you might agree. For you it is just a learners, but for me it is a learning process to independence and pride.

There was once I called Jia Ling, she was so excited about this one shoe and she wants to get it but I just don't know how. Anyway, she wanted my address so I told her and she replied 'Can you say it slowly once more?'. My address has a word 'Grove' in it, while I was mentioning that she was like 'Growth? G.r.o.w.t.h?' and I was like 'What kind of dumb address it that?' after having a few laughs at her while she sighs and grumble, I spell it out for her. And again, the questions that she always ask 'Why are there no photos of you in your facebook?'. Oh gosh, I can't just take a picture of myself and post it in. That would be extremely weird and having friends to take with me? I would say my friends don't really like the camera flashing their way when they are not pretty enough. I remember when I am in the mall they were like 'Livia can you not, I am in this dumb outfit' or whatever, something like that. They were actually wearing all this flashy outfits with some blings and bangles everywhere, whereas I am just wearing a shirt and a jean. Jokes, I hardly take pictures anyway, I look like a douche carrying my camera everywhere. I got my phone, but nah my phone is terrible, the pictures in it always look awful.

Today, my dad's mates are coming over for lunch. Last night my mum was asking me to roast a chicken for his mates. Why? Why me? You know I always burn it. New Zealand got a gold medal for commonwealth and Malaysia has 5 gold medals, yeah! Go Malaysia! Alice! Asians are winning that Kiwis!

Holiday

Holiday is becoming more and more boring. I am planning to take my learners license tomorrow, but I am still unsure whether I can pass. I just hope that I can pass and get it done with. I haven't been studying lately, gosh, and I so much to brush up especially english. Amy haven't top up her phone, she is really slow, how is she suppose to make plans when she don't top up her phone.